Drinking from longnecks

For those unaware a longneck is a 750 ml beer bottle.

I have always been able to rely on my theory that if a man drinks directly from a longneck, he is bad news.  By far and away the majority of blokes I know will quite happily request a glass when drinking from longnecks.

One of my earliest gauges of whether this is a truism was when one of my tenants introduced me to his mate who had just blown into town.  I took the word of my tenant that ‘Joe’ was a good bloke and offered him a place to live. Within seconds, like a leprechaun freed, he picked up a longneck from behind a post and proceeded to drink from it.  Well, I had already said he could stay so i could hardly go back on my word.  I heard later that ‘Joe’ had managed to drink every available beer in the place that night, whosever it was and when the nightshift workers came home, the atmosphere became very tense.  6 Oclock in the morning saw ‘Joe’ and his mate, my tenant, decamp with rent owing and anything of value in the share areas in the back of the mates car.

Another example was of a bloke that was living with his ‘nephew’.  The bloke asked for my help in getting work and offered to do some work about the place. Said he was a painter. His work was shoddy, and the car firm I introduced him to rang me three days later to ask for their car back.  In the mean time the bloke, his ‘nephew’, the nephews mothers caravan and the car companies ute had dis-encamped.  He too drank his beer straight from the longneck.


He’d paid his rent!

The tenant had a stack of cars, some going, some not. He had a dog no one would go near for fear of attack. It had recently busted loose and attacked a child. He lived large in a share house, making people uncomfortable about using the share facilities and staying in their rooms. He made no secret around town that he thought his landlord was a f*$^knuckle.  He refused to do a thing to keep the place he lived in in good order and was very sour around all the other tenants, especially anybody who might be new or thinking about taking a room at the premises. He cursed the inconvenience of urgent maintenence and the intrusion of tradesmen into his space.

But he’d paid his rent! How could the landlord even think of evicting him?